One of the Christmas gifts I received from Bethany was a book by one of my favorite Christian writers, Henri Nouwen. This particular book is entitled, Our Greatest Gift: Meditations on Dying and Caring. It is a short little book and even this slow reader, completed it quickly. Now you might wonder why a 34 year old young man is reading a book about dying. After all, I feel like I am in the prime of life. I feel healthy, my energy level is high, I have a beautiful young family.
I really wanted to read this book and was enthralled in the reading of it both to help my work as a pastor and to come more to grips with that unknown part of life called death.
Death, I believe, is on a continum of life. It is something dramatic that occurs along that line of life that is a harsh, painful and stark. No matter how we people of faith try to gloss over it being " a passage way" and a "bump" in the road of life, the pain is not eased for loved ones left behind.
With all the advances of medicine, all the knowledge gained, and many mysteries solved in this world, the mortality rate is still holding firm at 100%. We will all die. The mystery of death can be frightening for the person of faith and the person of no faith. It is an unknown.
Let me glean a few points from this little book I read. First, Nouwen says, to "befriend death." Talking about it, discussing it, remembering that you are a child of God. Always know that you can talk with me as your pastor or a trusted Christian friend. Befriending death means to reject fear, to not treat illness as simply a battle to be won or a foe to conquer but period of time where we can demonstrate "grace through powerlessness," like Jesus did in his suffering and dying.
Some will never know the experience of dying. It can come suddenly, or our minds are lost so much so that we may not be aware of our condition. For the young, therefore, reading and thinking about "dying well" is a matter of spiritual preparation that can bring peace.
Nouwen moves in the book to caring for the dying. Many of you are doing that for loved ones and many of us probably will one day. He notes that we are "parents of generations to come." We love the dying as "children of God" and treat them with that dignity. I recommend this book for those who are caring for aging and dying loved ones. It offers spiritual grounding for you in that journey.
Overall, he says, "I stay close to the heart of Jesus, whose life and death are the main source for understanding and living my own life and death."
John Wesley, the founder of the Methodist movement, said that "Methodists are people who die well."
I hope this is helpful for you or one you love.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Christian Marriage
I read a sad fact the other day. While many of us know that the marriage success rate in the United States of America has hovered around a depressing 50%, did you know that among Christians the percentage is the same? Half of all marriages end in divorce and those of us who claim the name of Christ do not have a better “success” at it. Truly a sad fact. I don’t know the reasons for that. I suspect that many of the Christians polled are not active Christians worshipping regularly in a church, studying the Bible, serving their neighbor. With these life practices, our lives and our relationships are nurtured for the glory of God.
Many of you reading this column have experienced the tragedy and hurt of a broken marriage; I grieve for you and pray for others whose marriages are “on the ropes.” The difficult thing is that many are suffering in the shadows. Almost no one outside the home knows what is happening inside.
In this very brief space, I would like to offer some guidance for our marriages, both healthy and happy ones, and ones on the rocks. Marriages of every kind need nurturing. Even if good marriages are neglected, they will be damaged. For all married folks, read these words coming humbly from me and for unmarried folks, try to apply it to relationships in your life. I am adapting some of these pointers from Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church in California. Warren is a pastor I admire in many ways and also disagree with in other ways but his pointers are helpful and I’ll note where I borrow from his writings.
Like the saying goes, “the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence; the grass is greener where you water it.” We must make sure our marriage is growing and developing, or we’ll be susceptible to moral failure. If you want a happy marriage, you’re going to have to work at it.
1. Surround yourself with reminders of your family. Warren keeps a drawer filled with reminders of his family. I keep pictures of my family in my office so that I can both remember them, celebrate them and let their need for me hold me accountable to be present when I am needed as a husband and father.
2. Keep lines of communication open. Keep the lines of communication open. Talk through issues in a way that works for you and your spouse. Some need to talk everything out, others need to “walk away” for a bit after an argument. The main thing is to return to a disagreement if it’s significant to at least one of you, and work it out. It’s very important also to understand what your spouses’ frustrations and dilemmas are, and understand their hopes and dreams.
3. Date your mate. You and your spouse need a regular date night. Put it on the calendar. Don’t let anything get in its way. It doesn’t have to be expensive. If the weather is nice where you live, have a picnic somewhere. There may be someone in your church willing to babysit your kids as a ministry to your family (Warren). Regardless of how you make it happen, you need to do it. For Christmas 2009, Bethany identified dozens and dozens of free things we could do together all over our area. They were both family fun and couple fun. It doesn’t have to be expensive but your marriage is what you had before children and your marriage is what you have after children are raised and on their own.
4. Pray. The most important one. Many folks are in marriages where one spouse is an active church involved Christian and the other is not. Ultimately we are responsible for our own relationship with Christ and with the faith exposure of the children God entrusts to us. If you are a nominal Christian, you could do nothing more important right now than to begin worshipping regularly, and letting study, service and personal generosity grow from there. If you are an active Christian, pray and stay committed.
Please receive these as words from a pastor who cares for each and every one of you. I pray for your church family and I treasure the knowledge that you are praying for me.
Many of you reading this column have experienced the tragedy and hurt of a broken marriage; I grieve for you and pray for others whose marriages are “on the ropes.” The difficult thing is that many are suffering in the shadows. Almost no one outside the home knows what is happening inside.
In this very brief space, I would like to offer some guidance for our marriages, both healthy and happy ones, and ones on the rocks. Marriages of every kind need nurturing. Even if good marriages are neglected, they will be damaged. For all married folks, read these words coming humbly from me and for unmarried folks, try to apply it to relationships in your life. I am adapting some of these pointers from Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church in California. Warren is a pastor I admire in many ways and also disagree with in other ways but his pointers are helpful and I’ll note where I borrow from his writings.
Like the saying goes, “the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence; the grass is greener where you water it.” We must make sure our marriage is growing and developing, or we’ll be susceptible to moral failure. If you want a happy marriage, you’re going to have to work at it.
1. Surround yourself with reminders of your family. Warren keeps a drawer filled with reminders of his family. I keep pictures of my family in my office so that I can both remember them, celebrate them and let their need for me hold me accountable to be present when I am needed as a husband and father.
2. Keep lines of communication open. Keep the lines of communication open. Talk through issues in a way that works for you and your spouse. Some need to talk everything out, others need to “walk away” for a bit after an argument. The main thing is to return to a disagreement if it’s significant to at least one of you, and work it out. It’s very important also to understand what your spouses’ frustrations and dilemmas are, and understand their hopes and dreams.
3. Date your mate. You and your spouse need a regular date night. Put it on the calendar. Don’t let anything get in its way. It doesn’t have to be expensive. If the weather is nice where you live, have a picnic somewhere. There may be someone in your church willing to babysit your kids as a ministry to your family (Warren). Regardless of how you make it happen, you need to do it. For Christmas 2009, Bethany identified dozens and dozens of free things we could do together all over our area. They were both family fun and couple fun. It doesn’t have to be expensive but your marriage is what you had before children and your marriage is what you have after children are raised and on their own.
4. Pray. The most important one. Many folks are in marriages where one spouse is an active church involved Christian and the other is not. Ultimately we are responsible for our own relationship with Christ and with the faith exposure of the children God entrusts to us. If you are a nominal Christian, you could do nothing more important right now than to begin worshipping regularly, and letting study, service and personal generosity grow from there. If you are an active Christian, pray and stay committed.
Please receive these as words from a pastor who cares for each and every one of you. I pray for your church family and I treasure the knowledge that you are praying for me.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Happy New Year
Happy New Year to the Woodville UMC family! I pray that your new year is off to a good start. I feel blessed to enjoy this time with you and I'm looking forward to some special opportunities this Winter and Spring to spend in study as well as worship with you.
At this time we are always making new years resolutions. Mine have to do with exercise, time for nurturing my journey as a disciple of Jesus Christ, renewed dedication to being an attentive and loving husband and father, and spending increased time in prayer for them and you. What are you resolving to do this year?
It's true that most of our resolutions revolve around stuff we will do - diets, exercise, finances, calendars and the like. What would it be like if we would ask this question - "who does God want me to be this year? and how do I start becoming that person this year?" We are afterall human beings not human doings. Being and becoming have to do with prayer, relationships, integrity at work and at home and an openness to God growing us by grace into something new.
The scriptures are full of words from the Lord about the new. In Isaiah the Lord says, "do not consider the former things of old, for I am about to do a new thing." Jesus talks a great deal about old and new. In I Corinthians, Paul says that "in Christ you are a new creation." Jesus also challenges us by saying that "you cannot put new wine into old wineskins," in other words we can't expect to completely hold the new if we are unwilling to let our old selves change.
I would repeat here something I shared in the sermon last Sunday. The author, George Bernard Shaw at the end of his life was asked who in history would he choose to be if given the chance. His response - "I would choose to be the George Bernard Shaw I was created to be but never became."
God's invitation to you and me this and any year is to allow His grace to grow us into becoming the people God created us to be. Do your resolutions respond to this question?
After we ask the question about being and becoming, I trust that the doing will flow naturally out of it.
Please take a look at this newsletter for new year opportunities for Bible study, discipleship growth, and service. This Sunday we will gather to renew our faith together in worship through the Wesleyan Covenant Renewal service and also bless our church leaders in this new year.
At this time we are always making new years resolutions. Mine have to do with exercise, time for nurturing my journey as a disciple of Jesus Christ, renewed dedication to being an attentive and loving husband and father, and spending increased time in prayer for them and you. What are you resolving to do this year?
It's true that most of our resolutions revolve around stuff we will do - diets, exercise, finances, calendars and the like. What would it be like if we would ask this question - "who does God want me to be this year? and how do I start becoming that person this year?" We are afterall human beings not human doings. Being and becoming have to do with prayer, relationships, integrity at work and at home and an openness to God growing us by grace into something new.
The scriptures are full of words from the Lord about the new. In Isaiah the Lord says, "do not consider the former things of old, for I am about to do a new thing." Jesus talks a great deal about old and new. In I Corinthians, Paul says that "in Christ you are a new creation." Jesus also challenges us by saying that "you cannot put new wine into old wineskins," in other words we can't expect to completely hold the new if we are unwilling to let our old selves change.
I would repeat here something I shared in the sermon last Sunday. The author, George Bernard Shaw at the end of his life was asked who in history would he choose to be if given the chance. His response - "I would choose to be the George Bernard Shaw I was created to be but never became."
God's invitation to you and me this and any year is to allow His grace to grow us into becoming the people God created us to be. Do your resolutions respond to this question?
After we ask the question about being and becoming, I trust that the doing will flow naturally out of it.
Please take a look at this newsletter for new year opportunities for Bible study, discipleship growth, and service. This Sunday we will gather to renew our faith together in worship through the Wesleyan Covenant Renewal service and also bless our church leaders in this new year.
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